Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Randomize
