i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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