I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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