Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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