What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
