I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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