grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
