either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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