Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
