I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the day after is always just damage control
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
