whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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