its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
