I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
