Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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