Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
