Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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