Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
