Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
