So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
