when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
