remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
