When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
