my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There's always time for handjobs
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
