Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
