sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This is not my ceiling
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
