HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
