I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
