Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
