I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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