Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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