i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
