she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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