yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If I die, sorry about rent.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
