I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
