that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
