Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
