"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
