Whod you bang
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
why is half of my head shaved?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
