just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I need a burrito and a hug.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
