Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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