Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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