Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
