He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
