Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
