No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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