the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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