so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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