wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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