She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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