and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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