i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
