the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
