real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
