saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
