Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
